diary of a worm

May 7th:

Mom always says that sometimes bad things happen to good worms. Well, I conscider myself a pretty good worm but something really bad happened to me. Today I was just minding my own business, digging deep, first class tunnels, when suddenly the earth started to shake all around me and before I knew it, I was lifted up and out of the ground! Into the air I went only to see that there was a kid starring right at me! He had me in his huge HANDS! YUCK! I squirmed and squirmed but I just couldn't get away! Then there came a loud shriek, "Mommy, I found a worm!!!!" I think I made his day but all I could think of was my nice, QUIET, dark, SAFE dirt world and how I'd get back! That boy even had the nerve to ask his mom if he cut off my bottom, would it grow back!!! What kind of creatures are these "humans" anyway! Sick! Then I was transferred to a bowl with some dirt, three rollie pollies and a friendly spider and carried around until the mom told the boy to put me back in the ground because I was good for the earth. Nice mom. So I'm back but that was sure a close call! I bragged to all my friends about how I almost died but then I was saved by the nice mom. They all think I'm a hero now. Pretty cool. Word of warning, if the ground starts to shake, cover your head and squirm under the nearest rock! Or...it could be YOU next! BTW, I now have reoccurring nightmares about that little girl who was with the shaggy boy. She comes up to me with her big, beautiful blue eyes and wrinkles her nose up all funny, then she tells her mom that she wants me for her pet and that she'll name me "Squishy"!!!! I always wake up in a cold sweat! My mom says I should see Dr. Compost but I'm really not CRAZY! Really!